Running on the exercise wheel in the hampster cage

So May 2006...not the best month. Lots of drama with the job, for one...I was hired to work at the agency during my internship and have stayed on for the summer. That situation has had mixed results...working there is no longer as positive as it was when I initially started. Ethics have come into play a little too frequently for me...I'm just trying to make it through the summer.

My car got broken into. Nothing was taken as the alarm on my 92 Niessan Maxima apparently shocked the (insert curse word here), and they took off. Just a nice shattered window on the passanger side. Yup, that was $182. Where did it happen, you ask? Right outside my apartment...needless to say, I am not feeling super safe here anymore.

Oh yes, and after being sick for four weeks, I had my third sinus surgery on Thursday (which was technically June, but I needed 3 things to proove that my month sucked). I'm feeling better...pretty stuffy still, but hopefully I should be in good shape by Friday.

No direction to go but up, right?

Can I just say how much long distance relationships suck! I know I sometimes refer to our relationship as a "weekend relationship" because we are fortunate enough to at least see each other most weekends. A weekend that I don't see him is like a big tease; yeah, it the weekend, but no, no boyfriend for you! It's like craving chocolate and there not being anything but vanilla at the grocery store. And not to mention the GAS PRICES! With the way they are right now, there are not going to be any little overnighters for a long time. This blows.

I'm soooo sleep deprived that it actually hurts, but for some reason I can't sleep. Which is really some crap timing seeing as how I have to take a midterm worth half my grade in 9 and a half hours. I was going to get up and study a little more, but I think I've reached that point...I could stare at it all I want, but I'm not going to learn anymore.

I really want to go somewhere. It's time for another adventure. I'm seriously considering just picking up and going over spring break, wtih no destination in mind just to see where the road takes me. And I know that because I'm a female, that's not socially acceptable, getting in the car and driving somewhere alone, but it seems that everyone else is too caught up with the monotney of everyday life. Yes, work and school are important, but you can't work your life away...then what would you have to show for it? And I'm sorry, but a Mercedes does not say much about what you've done in life except spend way too much money on transportation.

But then again who am I to criticize and judge when I am really wanting to develop a serious shoe problem?

In other news, a friend of mine might be moving down to Nashville from Minnesota. I know that is not exactly right around the corner, but I get so excited when friends from far away come to visit. Granted, this isn't a visit or anything, but I'm still super excited about the prospect of the situation.

Alright, finished my hot chocolate, I'm going to try this sleep thing again.

Alright Jimmy, I tried it...

67% Emmy Rossum
67% Shania Twain
66% Kate Hudson (um, she's blonde?!)


Oh, and JT, I put a pic of you in there...first in said Angelina Jolie (probably because of the glasses) but then for a male it said Justin Timberlake.

http://www.myheritage.com/

create your own visited states map
or check out these Google Hacks.

YOU CAN ASK ME SiX QUESTiONS::
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
__________________________________________
No matter how random, revealing, rude, or pointless!
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I promise to answer them 100% truthfully

So I felt like crap last night and went to bed hoping this "overwhelming feeling of ickiness" would just go away by itself. It didn't. I'm not exactly sure how to fix this one...normally I can just give someone a big hug and not let go until they laugh and somehow, in my head at least, everything slowly goes back to normal. It's funny, a person can't just tell me he/she is okay, I actually have to see it. This time a hug is impossible. I guess I will be wallowing in guilt for the rest of the day. Oh well.

I have so much going through my head right now...it's like all of my thoughts are fish swimming in a lake and I have to go fishing to grasp a hold of one. Oh yeah, we had a true colors seminar (which I've led before) yesterday, and I came out orange, which could be the reason why I'm feeling so...fishy.

This semester...well, it's probably going to end up being as much work as the last one, big surprise there. I also have an internship at The Alcove, a temporary shelter for runaway teens. Lots of DFACS custody more or less. It's been really interesting so far; I think I'm going to like it. Tomorrow I start working in the high school, creating a support group for "at risk" teens (I hate that term, hence the quotes). All in all, it should be a great learning experience. I'm really trying to push myself this semester and put myself in place where I'm not comfortable. It's time to restretch my boundaries.

"One Song" from RENT is stuck in my head. "Time, before the virus takes hold, like the sunset, and redeem this empty life. Time flies, Time dies." I know he is talking about AIDS, but it really can feel like that to anyone. You only have so much time to do something important, the right thing, that thing you were meant to do. Only so much time to fall in and out of love as many times as you possibly can, or as many times as you'd like. Only so much more opportunities to make the decisions, choose the 2nd door instead of the first. It's really overwhelming when you think about it. I wish there was only one door, one choice, one thing. Life would be less confusing with less choices.

And why is it that when things seem to be falling into place, everything going so smoothly, perfectly, I feel the need for adventure. Can't I ever just be calm, collected, and satisfied? I guess that's the orange in me.

You scored as Albus Dumbledore. Strong and powerful you admirably defend your world and your charges against those who would seek to harm them. However sometimes you can fail to do what you must because you care too much to cause suffering. </td> Ron Weasley 80% Albus Dumbledore 80% Ginny Weasley 75% Remus Lupin 70% Hermione Granger 65% Draco Malfoy 65% Sirius Black 65% Harry Potter 65% Severus Snape 50% Lord Voldemort 25% Your Harry Potter Alter Ego Is...? created with QuizFarm.com

Based on this description, if Dumbledore were real, he would be a social worker.

=P

It's nice being able to have fun without feeling guilty.

This is really stupid, but I figured out that the only time I can get a significant amount of work done is when the washer is going or I'm doing a million things at once. Right now the washer is not going. I need to start doing other people's laundry...

So it's been a little while since I've updated...surprise, surprise. Lots of stuff has happened the past few weeks. I finally have figured out how I'm going to survive graduate school, I have my man back, I get to see my family this weekend.

There are still somethings I'm questioning though regarding some recent decisions I've made. I think all will unfold in time.

Oh! I also have a job for the holidays...VICTORIA'S SECRET at Town Center. Everyone gets a bra for the holidays! Get excited, and tell me what color you would like!

I also have my internship set for next spring. I will be working at a runaway shelter for teens in Monroe (about a 30 min drive from campus). I'm really excited; it sounds like they will be having me do a variety of work, including direct practice. There are times where I may even have opportunities to earn some extra cash...which is always a bonus, haha.

You are 'juggling'. Jugglers, tumblers, and other
street performers were a very popular sort of
entertainment once, before movies and talkies
and online quizzes supplanted them.

You like to put on a show for people, and they like
to watch. You are friendly and well-liked,
particularly for your sense of humor, although
you sometimes play with people's heads. You
are frequently the center of attention, and you
like it that way. However, you have to realize
that the world does not revolve around you.
Furthermore, you have to learn that your
light-hearted antics are not appropriate to all
situations. Your problem is that juggling has
been obsolete for a long time.


What obsolete skill are you?
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I'm not sure if this is going to be a mini rant or a big rant. Consider yourself warned.

First of all, we are entirely told old to be gossiping about each other and spreading rumers. I think we should have been done with that before age 19. So why are we trying to make each other look like shit? That and is completely exaggerating really necessary to get attention for someone else's troubles?

And second, this is a journal. Why do some users get pissy and feel like "no one is reading their journal." I mean, really, it's a journal for a reason, to record your thoughts, events, etc. Isn't that what "journal" means? I guess everyone started livejournal for different reasons...some to write down inner most thoughts, others to get attention, others to see if they could get a lot of people to comment on their entries. As for me, I started this about 5 years ago...probably for attention, lol. But now it's more of a private thing, as most of my entries are private. I also used to write really well in here...now I just write like I talk, as if I don't have enough writing assignments to do already, this does not have to be another. So the next person to criticize my writing will loose a toe. You have been warned. I'm probably being a little too judgemental on this one, but it's my journal so who cares =P.

Oh, and ps, if you are in Athens and need to meet me somewhere, consider that I need to leave at least 45 minutes before our time to meet. It seems I get lost everytime I try to go somewhere. Cause that's not frustrating!

Ok, end rant. And strangely enough, despite my angry entry, I'm in a great mood.

And just so you know, I love you all, whether you read this or not. =)

Okay, I'm going to come right out and say it. I'm lonely. There, you have it, I'm just plain lonely. I'm disappointed in myself, I feel so pathetic. When I moved here, I really DID need time to myself...I had to make up 3 years worth of never being alone, having at least 3 roommates at a time and possibly a random guy sleeping on my couch. Well, the excitement of the quiet has worn off, and I can no longer stand being alone. Now don't misunderstand me, I love being able to spread out all of my books and my laptop in the middle of the living room and I love the fact that my jeans have been sitting in the dryer for a few hours and no one has bitched at me about them being there. But it was just nice to have someone there once in awhile, to cook dinner with, to talk watch TLC with, to bitch about boys with. Even to have an argument over the washing machine with...ok, wait, just flashed back to that argument and I take it all back. But don't think I'm some loser with no friends; I have made some who I usually go out with once one the weekends and once during the week. However aside from class and group projects, I really have little contact with anyone. Everyone seems so caught up in their school work, which is understandable cause I am too. It took me awhile to figure out what my problem was, why I always felt like crying. At first the most obvious answer was my love life situation, but after sitting here by myself after being surrounded by my closest friends and old coworkers this weekend, I realized that lonlieness was my problem. The dread of starting another week of alone time is so daunting. Oh, and as for grad student orgs, they are almost non existant unless they are educational related. There is no grad school kab, lol.

So here I am, sitting in my living room with my jeans in the dryer alone. For what will probably be a very long period of time.

I may be 23 years old, but I have just remembered how great it feels to sing and dance around my apt like an idiot to Ashlee Simpson. Suddenly everything is a lot less complicated!

So I really shouldn't be writing right now as there are probably about a million things I should be doing right now. But I have figured out that the first semester of social work graduate school is the hardest thing known to man. Huge group projects and Huge papers in every class, long reading assignments, too many dumb reflection papers, and how many more times am I going to have to videotape myself practicing active listening? In undegrad, there was always and end in sight, I remember saying something like "after Wednesday, everything will be fine." But it NEVER lets up! The good news is that I talked to some second years today...and the first semester is the hardest. Sure we'll have the same number of classes AND an internship, but the workload gets a little lighter! Thank goodness! I mean, I don't usually mind group projects, but when you have one for every class you have to be on everyone else's schedule. I guess it was just nice to learn that things aren't always going to be this stressful.

I can't relax when I don't know where I stand or what's going to happen. I can't not analyze when things are on shakey ground. Be patient with me. I'm doing the best I can.

The Keychain condom!!
You are a get down to bussiness type of person.
Foreplay is not your thing, but you can go for
hours! Your serious personality in the bedroom
displays a lack of well-roundedness in other
areas.

Best Position: missionary


Condoms!! what is your kind of condom AND what does it mean?( with pics not dirty sheesh!)
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